‘I want to go back to normal but part of me doesn’t’: Understand your inner conflict and embrace the future

We have made so much effort to create our cosy cocoons lined with coping strategies and new routines. We have learned to believe things we used to do in the pre-COVID era are unnecessary and dangerous, and we are no longer sure we really like them. We are afraid of the things we miss. We miss the times we weren’t afraid. 

The world around us keeps changing. We are trying to adapt. We adapt. The world keeps changing. Surrounded by the cacophony of news, opinions and beliefs, immersed in the world of our own thoughts and emotions, dealing with the unknown, caring for the loved ones, remembering the past, trying to figure out the future, we are constantly rediscovering and redefining the present. 

Mixed feelings

There may be part of you that wants to come back to the pre-pandemic reality: bustling offices, daily commute, unrestricted travel and carefree indoor and outdoor social activities. 

And there may be another part that has worked really hard to create the new routine, learn to spend unprecedentedly great amount of time with other members of your household, discovering new dimensions of interpersonal challenges and learning so much about yourself and others. This part has been born out of the circumstances, it acquired new skills, gained new knowledge, and discovered new ways of working and spending free time. 

And now they are telling us we are going to go back to normal. But what is normal for the pre-pandemic part is not normal for the part that has already adapted so well. 

Acknowledge the confusion 

I want to go back to the office but at the same time I don’t want to go back there.

I feel like eating out but I don’t want to eat out. 

I want both. Just for different reasons. 

You may feel like going back to the office to see your colleagues, bring back the water cooler moments and unblur the boundaries between work and personal life. You may also feel like working remotely to feel safe, enjoy your newly established routine and nurture the part of you that has adjusted to new conditions of the locked-down world. 

It can be confusing. It’s normal to feel this way. 

Be grateful

They are both ready. You remember life as it used to be. On the other hand, you’ve learned how to adapt and create the new reality. Thank both of them for being vigilant, ready to face whatever the post-COVID ‘new normal’ may bring. They are your inner team, your tools, your inner resources. 

The more tools we have, the more flexible we are. Our personal resource toolkit is what makes us resilient. It’s time to say it openly – WE HAVE SURVIVED the time of great uncertainty, mental and emotional earthquake we hadn’t expected. 

Even though the worldwide battle is not over, we are now so much better prepared to changes in government policies, switching the ways of working, learning, meeting or shopping.

Embrace the uncertainty

Our brains are wired to reduce uncertainty. We want to have clarity, find the answers and invest our energy in the right way. Are the kids finally going back to school, the real school? Can we finally start planning our vacation? Yes and no.

Many people now tend to believe that the pre-COVID world was predictable, safe and certain. Well… it wasn’t. We just didn’t think about it that much. 

The human life has always been full of uncertainty. We can’t erase the uncertainty, but we CAN work on our strength, resilience and flexibility. They make up the amazing trio getting us ready to deal with virtually ANYTHING. 

Bottom line

If there are parts of you that want different things, that’s okay. Since they were formed in different circumstances, they have different needs, skills and priorities. 

Now that you see it, your focus should be on how they can collaborate with one another in order to make you stronger, more resilient and flexible. With these ‘portable’ qualities that can be applied in various areas of life, you will be able to come up with creative solutions and take advantage of all the opportunities the future is about to bring.