We all know how hard it may be to keep our mind healthy and balanced when the reality around is what it is. But, if we know how to do it, we can change the way we feel, behave and react.
Currently, we are moving through a huge transition. How to do it successfully? How not to just go through this time but grow from it?
Follow the 5 steps listed below:
1. Focus on what you can control.
We can make decisions. We can change our reality. We can shape our mind. But there are many things beyond our control. The sooner we realize it, the more effective we can be. Is it within your control? If the answer is YES, look for solutions. But if the answer is NO, every minute you spend ruminating on what is happening out there is like taking more and more poison that enters your bloodstream to wreak havoc in your body and mind. Focusing on what you can control doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means taking REAL control of your life, improving your current situation, taking care of yourself and your loved ones, and helping your own community.
2. Focus on opportunities.
It’s so easy to think about all the things we can’t do now and complain. How about focusing on opportunities instead? What is possible now that wouldn’t be possible if this year was “normal”? As you don’t need to commute, how can you take advantage of the extra time you have? What may not be possible any more when things get back to what they used to be”? For many, it may be time to discover new passions or learn something new. Some may finally get an hour or two of sleep they needed so badly or have more quality time with their loved ones. What would you regret you haven’t done if tomorrow we came back to “normal”?
3. Focus on managing information.
We are flooded with information ALL THE TIME. In the past, people had to learn how to find information they needed. They spent hours in libraries, bookstores and archives, data-hungry and underloaded, curious and adventurous. Now that we can find virtually everything at the click of a button, it’s high time we smartened up on how to limit, select and manage information we let into our mind. What do you REALLY need to be up-to-date with? Are there any people or websites you know that share content which makes people (including you!) feel more anxious, angry, confused or hopeless? If you know some, the truth is, it’s highly likely you will come across more and more of them over time.
Have you ever heard of “filter bubbles”? It’s a term coined by Eli Pariser, an internet activist, which refers to an experience of being surrounded and flooded by particular type of information. What we see on our screens results from the history of personal searches we have made, social media accounts we follow, and ways we react to any content we see. Our activity online is analysed by powerful algorithms which feed us more and more of what we have already looked for or followed. At the same time, we do not receive information disagreeing with what we like or follow. As a result, we get trapped in our private “filter bubble” reality which only in a very limited way reflects what is happening around us. Therefore, your colleague’s “filter bubble” can be very different from yours and although you both think you know what “hard facts” are, the reality you believe in may be, literally, worlds apart.
The point is that you can manage information you feed your mind. If you choose to feed yourself anxiety and anger, you will be fed anxiety and anger. If you focus on what makes you resourceful, you will get inspired and keep your mind as strong as possible.
4. Focus on relationships.
We need people. People need us. Although we differ on to what extent, how many, and what kind of people we need in our life, our innately social nature makes us miss our family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, favourite shopkeepers, and so on. We may be afraid to see them now, but some part of us may miss them in some way. It’s okay to be cautious and avoid people, but pretending we don’t need them or forgetting about them isn’t the best way forward. Some people are fed up with Zooming and, as soon as they are done with work stuff, try to avoid any more video calls. They may select a limited number of people to spend in-person offline time with and text or call a few others. For some, though, Zoom and the likes of it are a new digital face-to-face meeting space, similar to meeting someone offline in person, which enables them to have breakfast with their friends and go for a walk together, although they live in different cities or countries, thousands miles away from each other.
We are all going through the same experience, with ups and downs, plans changed and freedom painfully redefined. Be connected, respecting your own boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others. Just find the best way.
5. Focus on your breath.
Your breath, is always there for you. Whenever you feel anxious, worried or angry, confused or overwhelmed, sit comfortably, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in, breathe out, slowly.
Why is it so important? Our body is a brilliant system reacting to changing environment. Whenever we come across something we believe is dangerous, our brain sends impulses to various parts of our body to prepare accordingly. This survival mechanism is called the “fight-or-flight” response. When we focus on a stressful situation, our body is getting ready to face it and react. We are preparing to war. But everything starts in the brain. If our amygdala (one of two clusters nuclei found in the temporal lobes of the brain) believes there is some danger around, it sends a signal to hypothalamus (a small region of the brain linking the nervous system to the endocrine system via the pituitary gland), which manages the stress response. The glands pump the hormones into the bloodstream, which results in a cascade of changes that can help us survive when the danger is imminent. However, when this reaction becomes chronic, it can lead to physiological changes that increase risk of heart attacks, strokes and may lead to many other health problems.
Fortunately, people can consciously counter the stress response. There are various approaches and tools, but what makes them all work is that they reverse the effects of chronic stress. The simplest one, as it is always available and doesn’t require any special equipment, is breathing.
When your body calms down, your mind calms down too. You can intentionally focus on what you choose to focus on, instead of being hijacked by emotional responses driven by uncontrolled cortisol release.
Breathe. Breathe in through your nose. Feel your abdomen rise. Breathe out slowly through your mouth. Repeat.
After a few minutes, as your body starts feeling relaxed and state of mind changes, welcome all the images, sounds and feelings that come, as they are about to bring you all the insights you need right now.
BOTTOM LINE: Your attention creates your reality.
Author: Dominika Romanska